A Day in the Life of Ana Grey
by Carriej56
Summary: The life as seen by Christians canine companion. Started as a one shot but by demand it has expanded...
1. Chapter 1

I awaken and stifle a yawn. Ahhh, I could get used to this, the soft pillow beneath my head and the soft sheets. Mmmmm. I gaze across the pillow and stare into my masters soft grey eyes. His brow quirks up quizzically

"Right you, out, now!" He says lightly before gently slapping my rear and nudging me off the bed. He points at the door and I make my way out the long way round. I nearly laugh when I see the state of my current mistress her hair look like she was in a fight with Rosie, the cat next door, she's got lethal claws on her! Her eyes have big purple circles around them, now I don't know too much about humans, apart from master, but I've never seen one look like that before! I've seen mistress Gail, the one that feeds me, draw paint on her face before, maybe she's done that? She looks damn scary! If any of my friends see her I'll be a laughing stock and I can't have that! I trot into mistress Fails bathroom and find her paint bag and take it to master.

"Ana! Where did you get this?" He demands, uh oh! Looks like I'm back in the damn dog house! I drop the bag at new mistresses feet.

"What the hell? Christian? Why the fuck have you got your dog brining me make-up? If you have something to say at least grow some balls and tell me! Don't get your bloody dog to do it for you!"

Ooopsie daisy! Ah well, at least there won't be a fight for the bed tonight!

"Julie, wait, I didn't.." She hit my master hard across his face leaving a large red mark.

Oh that's gotta hurt!

"Woof woof woof!" Back off bitch he's mine!

"Out Ana, now!" What did I do?

I hear him murmuring at her and her at him, pass the puke bucket! I nudge open the door and sit at the threshold waiting.

"Christian! Stop!"

"What? Why? I thought you liked..."

"Your dog is watching me!" Damn right bitch.

"Don't be ridiculous! Go lie down Ana" with pleasure master! I curl up on my bed at the bottom of his, keeping my eyes trained on her purple rings.

"It's still watching me!" It? Who you calling it?

"Give me a minute" he jumps out the bed pulling his dressing gown on. "Ana, come here girl." I follow him out the room and down the hall. "Please girl stay here, I need to get laid, it's been months! I'll take you out for a couple of hours this afternoon if you'll give me five minutes, ten tops, then you can scare her off. Please girl?!" I lie on the couch, which for once, he doesn't shout at me for! Result! I'll wait for five minutes I suppose, I don't like it but he begs so nicely. "I'm going mad I just begged the dog to let me have sex" he mutters as he walks up the hall. Yes, yes you did master, because I own your ass!

I can hear his grunts from the couch, it sound like the two of them are in pain! She's screaming now, is it bad if I hope he's hurting her? Probably. Lynn in the flat downstairs says I have a sadistic streak when it comes to masters women friends. It was funny to see the look on the plastic woman's face when I peed on her handbag, then on her shoe then I left her a special deposit on her coat... I had to let her know master is mine not hers, she doesn't come round that often anymore, I can't imagine why!

Right times up! I nudge my way into the bedroom, jump on the bed and lick masters face. He has a weird glow about him and I can't see his woman anywhere. I lay across the pillow, my head resting on his chest. His heart is beating quite quickly and his muscles are twitching kinda wildly.

"Mmmm, baby" baby? He's never called me that before! I feel a draft coming from his sheet, it's bobbing up and down, holy crap!

"Woof, woof, woof"

"Shut up Ana! I'm coming!" He lets out a massive roar as the mistress with the purple eyes reappears from under the covers. I wonder what she was doing? She's got drool hanging from her chin, it's not a good look, I should know, I lap it off her face for her.

"Oh my God! I think I'm gonna be sick!" She changes colour and runs to the toilet, master laughs and lies back down.

"What am I gonna do with you girl?" Take me on that walk you promised? Please?!

I hear a noise I'd know anywhere, mistress Gail! Food! I hear the meat falling into my bowl in the kitchen, I sniff the air, oh yeah! Last night's chicken pot pie! A girl could get used to this! I devour the whole bowl as fast as I can, licking it clean for good measure! I move over to my mineral water, master knows what his girl likes! Mmmm, refreshing. I need a nap after that meal. I curl up on the couch and catch some z's. I jump awake, don't you hate when that happens, I'd almost bitten the vet too! I'll get the sadist next time. I grab my lead from its hook and go in search of master. He's still in bed with purple eyes! Purple, has a lead on each arm and leg! I know master doesn't like me getting lost and has even got one of those extension lead things, I hate it of course, but he's never put more than one on me? Purple has bet rear in the air and master has a stick in his hand, oh I get it, it's a game! I wanna play too! I grab the stick from master, he doesn't look pleased.

"Drop it Ana! Drop it!" I drop the stick and wag my tail excited, is he gonna throw it? Is he? Is he? He pulls me by the collar to the door and shoves me through shutting the door tightly, I can't get in now. I cry by the door but master ignores me. He's in there for hours, long enough that mistress Gail takes pity on me and takes me down to the apartment gardens for a walk. When I've done what I needed to, we return home. Purple has gone and master looks very very happy.

"Hey girl, still want that walk?" Oh hell yeah! I bark in reply. He grabs that extension lead and my jacket and we head out, just me and my master, exactly how it should be!


	2. Chapter 2

I'm wrapped up in my pink hooded parka, thank God he got the right shade of pink, he nearly bought the shocking pink one, can you imagine! My name would have been mud in the dog park! Master only got the right one by chance as it came with a matching lead, and the lead was only in petal pink, I still thank my lucky stars for that!

We are striding together towards the petting zoo at the park, it's a bunch of farm folk stuck in runs with weird smelling little humans poking them all day. My friend Jose gets a rough ride of it, he's the goat attraction and his mistress Carmela, has noticed he has a thing for Devan, the other male goat... poor Jose, they put up signs and everything, I saw them! Master laughed and said "A gay goat? I've heard it all now!"

That was a couple of weeks ago now. I see Jose standing near his sign, I bark hello, he bleets hi back. Poor git, Devan won't even look at him.

Master tugs my lead away from the zoo and towards the doggie park and freedom, off this damn lead. I bound forward, uh oh there is a new guy in my park! I see all the other bitches checking him out, Gwen is practically drooling all over him, oh dear Lord, she _is _drooling on him. I'm embarrassed for my species!

Master stands to one side and picks up a stick for me. He's gonna throw it but not the first three swipes, I know this but I play my part well and run regardless. I swear humans think we are blind as well as stupid! On his third graceful swing the stick flies from his muscular arm, I pause to admire master in all his glory, then I run like the wind, the breeze blowing through my fir. I can't see where that stick landed, I take a long sniff for masters smell. Mmmm, it's close. I run over to it and grab it in my teeth, I pull but it won't move. I look up and there's that dog from earlier, and he's holding _my _stick! I let out a low growl, back off dog this stick is mine, he drops it quickly. I drag it back to master.

Bloody humans! He's moved! They are never where you leave them!

"Ana? Ana? Where are you?" I hear master calling

"Grey? Grey?" I hear a mistress calling.

Oh my God master is so funny sometimes, he's just walked into the mistress! They are both on their arses on the floor and for once it's not my fault! (I got put in a kennel by the washing machine for that, master was not happy.) I wonder how he'll punish her? Oh jings he's struggling to get up, grab the fence you stupid man! The mistress is trying not to laugh at him

"Woof woof woof!" Don't laugh at him! That's my master, he may look particularly stupid right now but he's not too bad, for a human I mean... The mistress stretches her arm out to him, oh no you don't, I bark louder at the mistress.

"It's okay Ana, I'm fine" hmm, I'm not too sure about that master, your still sprawled out on your arse in public, Gwen, Lynn and Susan are all staring at me and him. I wish the ground would open and swallow us both whole!

"How do you know my name?" Oh the mistress woman speaks, she sounds a lot more friendly than weird purple eyes this morning.

"Huh? I was talking to my dog." Yeah, lady, he was talking to me! Oh he's made her change colour! She's red! How does master do that? Every time we go out for a walk a lot of the mistresses, and a few of the masters turn red. I think it's some kind of human infection, master never turns red, master is never sick either.

"Your, uh, dogs called, uh, Ana?" Oh this one must be really ill, maybe maybe its rabies, I don't know what that is but masters mother seems to think I'll give it to her. Maybe I should see a vet? Nah, I hate that git! He is a pervert, he likes shoving stuff up my arse, he'll no to that! Now if I ever started foaming at the mouth then yeah I'd expect to see the vet, but until that day comes, or a leg falls off I think I'll pass!

"Yeah." Oh shit master is changing colour too!

"So am I" oh joy, I share a name with a bloody human! I let out a small whimper just to remind master I'm still here, and that his backside is still planted in the mud. "Hey Ana" oh she's talking to me, Jesus, what do I do with that, oh she's coming at me, oh God, I've died and gone to heaven, oh I can't help rolling onto my back, please scratch my tummy, oh yeah, like that, mmmmmm, oh please your hands, they are so soft. Nooooooo, no you can't stop! I shamelessly rub my body against her.

"Ana, leave her alone." Master sounds mad so I give him my sad eyes, works every time!

"It's okay, she's beautiful." See, like a charm!

Master stumbles to his feet. I know this drill too here comes the lead. Now here lies my dilemma, do I sit and be a good girl or do I make master chase me about for the next ten to fifteen minutes then let him think he's 'won'. Option b wins! Come and get me! I see the other Ana giggling as master plumbers after me caked in mud, and other foul smelling stuff, I mean he washes in some weird smelling shit everyday, he smells like flowers. Who in their right mind wants to smell like flowers? Give me a nice pile of steaming horse dung any day, master seemed to like my perfume that day, mistress Gail hid from me, wearing a strange mask over her face. I got a long shower that day, the bastard washed me with some of his weird flower shit, he also told me I'm not to roll in dung again (I'm paraphrasing, but that was the gist) he also asked me a lot of questions, now this I don't understand. **I'M A FRIGGIN DOG! **I don't speak human, I don't understand a lot of it either! Mental note made to ask Rosie (the cat that knows everything, except where I've hidden her catnip) what a flogger is. Master talks about things like that with the one that I marked, I refuse to dirty my mouth with her name.

I hear him getting close to me so I bolt back over to the mistress with my name and sit at her feet. Master comes running towards me puffing and panting, and cursing under his breath at me. The mistress is crouched down petting me holding my collar gently so I can't escape. I hear the click of the lead.

"Sorry, she's not normally like this, she's a really good dog." He's glowering at me uh oh, busted! "Would you maybe like to go out for dinner sometime?" Excuse me? How am I gonna come?

"That'd be lovely." She's giving him the puppy dog eyes, oh shit, he's giving her them back! I tug master away, does he not understand how thirsty I am? I am not willing to slum it with a puddle when my mineral water is at home, so is my couch, I could use a... can't breathe, can't breathe! Why can't I breathe? I step back towards master, oh the air the precious air fills my lungs. I look at the ground in front of me, there's something about that rock, it must be an air stealer. I turn to face master, well blow me down! Hes attached to her, the other Ana! I have to save him!

I run over as fast as my four legs will carry me. I pull on his trouser leg as hard as I can, I hear them both groaning, it must be really bad! Their arms and hands are flailing about, shoving each other away. I bark to draw attention to them. Surely someone can help?! I pull on his legs again and suddenly he breaks free. I did it! I saved him, but master doesn't even look at me, he has his head stuck to other Ana's. I run round them a couple of times checking that they are okay.

"Oh no! I forgot Grey!" Mistress runs off back to the dog park. Master stares after her, I think he's drooling a bit! Ewww! Mistress comes back a couple of minutes later with the new guy from the park. "I'm dogsitting for my friend this week. This is Greyson, otherwise known as Grey." Oh great! I'm gonna be stuck with some territorial arse while master tries to mate with mistress. So long as he doesn't try to sniff my backside we will be fine. We stride into the entrance of our block, oh fuck Ord and Las the twin cats are sitting on the reception desk, I let out a low growl as does the Grey fellow. Master and mistress tug us into the lift, just as the doors begin to close I bound forward nipping at Ord's heels, that'll teach her for, aaaarrrrrrggggggghhhhhh! I'm flying, I can hear master shouting and Grey barking. Mistress at the reception comes bouncing, sorry bounding to my aid. She unclips my strangling lead and puts me down on the floor, where did those damn cats go...

**A/N: Wow! You guys like a laugh eh? thanks for all the reviews! This chapter is dedicated to my FSOG FANFICTION girls! love you all, even if you do nag for updates (not thinking of anyone in particular...Rosie!)**

**love you all**

**Carrie J x**


	3. Chapter 3

I'm just about to catch the demonic cat when I feel hands round my neck

I CAN'T BREATHE!

I NEED AIR, GET THIS LITTLE HUMAN OFF ME!

Master's brother appears and tries to pull his little person from me, hell I'm wearing it like a collar!

"Ava sweetie, let Ana go" yeah, like that's gonna work big guy! Last time you had to bribe it with some form of food and even then it smeared it into my fur! I catch a glimpse of Rosie strutting along the hall, she's eyeing me like she's up to something. I swear that cat is always planning something! She's even managed to get into my house, master, who tells everyone that will listen how much he hates cats, let's her in.

Next thing I know she's rubbing herself against demon spawn's leg.

"Ook Dada, kitty! Pitty kitty!" I feel her chubby arms let go as she grabs Rosie, damn I owe her some catnip for that!

Masters brother picks me up, not even trying to cover my modesty, oh the shame! He takes me up to my house, demon hot on his heels, dragging a now very upset Rosie, maybe I'll give her a lot of catnip...

Master looks mad as I'm carried in.

"Where did you find her Elliott?" Oh please don't tell him that I was about to snap the cats leg, please! I use my begging face, he looks down at me, and pats my head

"Ava was strangling her in the lobby, poor Ana was trying to escape from her. I think she may have got toffee on her back again. I'll pay to have her groomed sorry little bro"

Master looks angry but not at me, at his brother.

"Why the hell has Ava brought next doors cat in here?" Poor Rosie has escaped Ava's clutches and is sitting on top of the curtain pole, miaowing loud warnings.

Stay the fuck away from me you demonic child! I'm never saving you again Ana! You owe me big time for this!

Masters brother picks up his furry child, she has both mine and Rosies hair all over her hands and face. I can see the patches where her chubby fingers have pulled out clumps of fur, it's gonna take forever for me to grow that back! Just when I'd got it styled the way I like too!

Master turns and looks at me, oh the shame, that dog is here too, I could just die! Masters brother is pulling faces at master and nodding at mistress. The demon child is now trying to manhandle the dog, oh shit he growled at it!

Mistress looks very pink suddenly, and is standing dragging the dog out the room. He catches my eye

If you ever want the brat taken care of, I'm here for you honey. See you at the park.

Yeah.

Oh god! He spoke to me! You know growl to growl, oh I feel a bit feint! Water! I need water.

I go into my room, sorry masters room, to see if Rosie is still hiding from demon child in there. Yup she is, and she found the catnip I'd hidden! Bugger! She's lying spaced out across my bed! We have a short chat, given that she is on a different planet just now. All I know is she's fine so I'll let her dream her drugged up catty dreams... I wonder if they make dognip? As I leave the room I see mistress is just leaving, she's all red again, it's weird how that happens to the mistresses...

"It's been lovely Ana, next time hopefully my dog will behave." She laughed,what does he mean I'll behave, I was good today! I didn't pull him over or knock him down, I didn't scratch either! I'm insulted!

"Until tomorrow Mr Grey" I don't get that either, he has a name but all of the women, especially the red ones call him Mr Grey or sir? Some of them call him master,but they are few. Mistress Leila called him master, I liked her. She had a pretty pink room upstairs and let me sleep in her bed with her, she cried a lot. Master has a room upstairs too, it's locked, I have been in though with mistress Gail. There are lots of leads for me and so many sticks! It's doggie heaven!

I have a quick nap on the couch before realising I've not checked on Rosie for a while. Masters brother and his spawn have left too, but not before she tried to ride me, do I look like a horse to you? No didn't think so, and demonic spawn is so god damned heavy, that'll be all the sticky goo that's in it, on it and smeared all over whatever it touches! Nearly broke my damned back! Anyway I digress, I must check Rosie, I hope she's coming down, it's damned funny to watch!

I saunter into the bedroom to find her in my bed! No way is any cat sleeping in my bed! I shoo her out but in her drug induced state she trips and falls on her face, oh yeah, now that's embarrassing! I snuggle up in my bed while Rosie tries to slink gracefully out of the room, only she's as gracefully as an elephant doing ballet!

Master comes to bed pats me on the head and strips off, he doesn't seem to notice that I watch, when the mistresses watch they get ever so red, I swear one of them even drooled! Eww! I would never drool over a male... Well not when he could see me! I wonder if mistress with my name will drool? I'm guessing ill find out, she'll be back the red ones always come back if master asks them too.

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long my muse has taken a hiatus somewhere in the arctic, and I'm waiting patiently, we'll maybe not patiently, for her to return! So this chapter is a mix of three ideas I had all merged into one chapter, written before the muse left the continent I should add. I was gonna be negative but no, you lot make or break it as you see fit**

**Thanks to Sasha Cameron for helping me out majorly today and tempting my muse down from the arctic possibly she's lurking in Europe now so if you see her send her home please! Shout out to my Fifty Shades Group girls, your support gets me through!**

**Love as always**

**Carrie x**


	4. Chapter 4

Ahhhh, I could lie here forever! Oh god the thread count on these sheets must be through the roof! How the hell Ana ended up here I'll never know! Oh here she comes now.

"Hey Ana, thanks for letting me stay, this pad is amazing, the catnip here is sublime you should try some!"

Why is she staring at me? I'm not speaking Swahili... She's talking to me but she sounds weird! I'm just gonna close my eyes for a minute...

WOAH! The room is spinning, and all those colours, why do I not live here? With visual effects like this it wow! I open my eyes and Ana is gone, lets have a rummage about The room. Oh, oh, oh, cramp, back leg, shit, fuck it ill drag it, it's not really sore it's kinda numb, like me, comfortably numb...

I can't be bothered rummaging, I've done it before, three canes under the bed, two sets of handcuffs in the top drawer of the nightstand, a metal bar with cuffs in the wardrobe, blindfolds and a nice selection of vibrating toys in the drawers, him and my owner have very similar tastes. Oh my head, I feel woosy!

I wonder how Ana's bed feels?

I slink over to her large pink fluffy cocoon, my paws sink into the downy softness, I can barely stand it feels like walking on a cloud. I sink my body into its marshmallow pillow, oh god! I think this feels as good as human sex! (My mistress is at it all the time, not even my kitty pillow is sacred, it took weeks to preen it clean after she'd been on it with the most recent guy) I close my eyes again and float off on the cloud of delight.

"Rosie?"

"Huh?" I open my eyes and I'm still in Anas place, but I'm on a couch in the lounge. How did i get here? Something doesn't look right in this picture.

"My master is gonna kill you!" She barks at me

"Why?" I scan the room, not actually recalling how I got here, it's not long before I spot the sight that will lead to my demise. "Shit!"

"Uh, huh!" Damn smug dog!

"But there was a sticky little girl, she chased me..." Uh oh, here comes Mr Grey...

xXx

"GAIL! What the hell happened in here?"

"Sir?"

"Have you seen it? That bloody cat! If I get my hands on it I'll throttle the damn thing!"

"Sir this may be partially my fault, I gave her some catnip after her fright, to calm her down, maybe she took a reaction..."

"I don't care, find the cat, remove it from MY home and then replace my curtains, at its owners expense!"

"Yes sir, Mr Grey"

xXx

Shit! Now Karen is gonna be mad at me! Damn catnip! I'm never touching the stuff again!

"Hey there Rosie, time to take you home puss" Gail purrs at me. She snakes her arm under my tummy and cradles me like a baby. She's eyeing my tummy funny. "Oh Rosie, are you gonna be a mummy?"

Shit! No! I was always careful... There was that one time with Taylor, but surely no, that was weeks ago...

xXx

Ouch! I'm blinded by the pain! Oh god how much longer will I have to endure this pain? it feels like its going on forever, how many kittens are in there? I really hope Karen didn't like these sheets hon her bed causes they're ruined now, that's payback for getting come stain on my bed!

xXx

Stop bloody fighting! There are enough nipples to go round!

Who knew motherhood could be such a pain in the ass, literally!

Five kittens and Taylor has fucked off! I'm a single mum of five, did I mention I had five of them? I pushed out five of them! By myself!

Since that night they have done nothing but pester me for milk, they are drinking me dry, I swear its a living hell, until they are asleep, then they look cute! I have one black one, a grey one, two tabbies and a white and black one that looks like me! (I'm cuter obviously, and once I lose this weight ill be one hot mama!)

Karen didn't really bother about the incident at the Grey's (thank The Lord) especially after Gail told her about my impending litter, it turns out she's gonna have a litter too!(I hope I didn't look as fat as her, my god she looks like the mitchellin man! Even her face has gotten fat and don't even get me started on her kankles!)

Ana comes over once a week sometimes more with Gail, they are taking a kitten, I've tried begging Ana to take all five of them but she says no. So in two weeks Gail is taking Rosie Jr (I've named them all that in homage to myself) to live in her palace, that kitten has struck gold!(not that I'm jealous, of course!) Karen has told me we are keeping one, the little black one that looks like its daddy, so I'll be a single mum of one in two weeks and auntie to the five thousand judging by the size of her! (How many humans are in a litter anyway?)

I gotta go now, one of the Rosie Jrs has just nearly detached one of my left nipples so I'm away to lie on it, until it learns to behave, see you later x

**A/N: Hey I needed a wee break from angst and so a Rosie chapter it is! Hope you like, I'm not sure ill do a Rosie one again, you know, she doesn't have time to write and look after her litter... So until next time**

**Carrie x**


	5. Chapter 5

I awaken to a gnawing sensation, it's almost like tiny little needles are stabbing me in the nipples. I lazily open one eye, oh fuck no! That bloody cat!

Fuck off! I growl. It mews at me and pulls a cute face.

I ain't got no milk and I'm not a cat! I'm a dog, see bigger than you I bark, master uses some of those pretty collars on me (and those red women, but puss doesn't need to know that mistresses are dogs too! I don't wanna confuse the little fella!) he takes me for walks, I eat meat, while you get that weird pellet stuff mistress Gail gives you...

Momma, why won't you give me your milk?

Those big eyes stare up at me, mistress Gail calls them ' puss in boots ' eyes, whatever that is, I know one thing for sure if this fur all ever appears in boots I'm leaving! I pestered master for a dress and he said no so if the cat gets boots I'm gone, adios, see ya pal!

Puss I'm not your momma. You know that, Rosie is your momma. Mistress Gail is kinda your momma but NOT ME! I don't have milk, I can't make milk, I'm no ones momma. Master likes me without pups and quite frankly after seeing what you and the rest of your litter did to Rosie I never want to be a mother! I mean she has these saggy bits now and her teats almost scrape along the floor and don't even get me started on her weight!

Where'd puss go? Oh well, I'm just gonna curl back up and sleep for a while.

**A/N: I thought I'd give you a little burst of Ana meeting the new kitten! (He doesn't have a name yet all suggestions welcome!) I know it's only a paragraph long but it made me smile!**

**Carrie x**


	6. Chapter 6

So I've had to live with the ball of fluff for six months now... It's still a right royal pain in my nipples! Master doesn't like it either and makes mistress Gail keep it in her apartment. I'm not allowed in there anymore even when master has mistress Ana here.

She doesn't like the sticks, so master threw them out. What a waste! I could have had a lot of fun at the park with them! It would have been so easy to get master to fall with them! They seemed like strong sticks! Mistress Ana isn't too much like the other red women she's not so red all the time anymore! I do hear her screaming at master sometimes, she did make him cry once, for a long time, not even my singing cheered him up! I brought him a stick that I'd found under the bed but he didn't want to play, he got really cross and snapped my stick and put it in the bin.

Mistress Ana came back just after that. We go for long walks in the park but they don't seem to interested in throwing sticks for me, master bought me a ball, or I think that's what he called it. It was yellow and fluffy. It tasted so good! I dribbled all over it! Master stopped throwing it so I had to carry it home. I chewed and chewed and chewed until it broke into little bits and I ate the lot. Mistress Ana wanted to take me to the vet...oh hell to the no! But master said to give it a day or two to see what came out? I still haven't worked out what was going on but I know mistress Ana is obsessed with my poo...it's kinda freaky! She picks it up in plastic bags and squishes it about, I nearly puked the first time, poor master did go a funny green colour too... Ewww!

I've not seen much of Greyson, apart from the time mistress Ana and Grey's mistress, (yes I have a human name for him!) locked us in a run outside for a few days. We waited till the humans weren't watching and well, one thing led to another, he let me have his last chocolate drop so I let him... Well, I wish we hadn't bothered because mistress Ana and master both have come at me with a probe that they put...you know, there, and they squirt stuff in! It's bloody mortifying! I think Greyson gave me some kind of disease of the girlie bum! Master keeps saying things about breed and pedigree and Greyson gets mentioned a lot too... I've given up trying to figure humans out, they are all barking mad!

Mistress Ana and master are getting married, did I tell you? Well master was away all day, mistress cried, masters brother and demon child from hell cried, masters parents even cried, then he came home and mistress Ana said she'd marry him! Everyone cried some more! Rosie still comes round sometimes master has banned all drugs though so she's not as much fun as she used to be, she says she's on a permanent downer now that the catnips gone, her babies are all gone and her mistress had a demon spawn.(Her baby ran away after a run in with Ord and Las!)

Yes they are still here. I still try to get them but mistress has got me a new baby pink collar with my name written in sparkles on it (or at least she says it's my name, I think I trust her...) and lots of bells. When I run the park is alive with the sound of music, and Ord and Las can hear me coming! Damn cats!

Anyway mistress Ana is taking me to the grooming salon for the wedding, I'm hoping for curly hair like Miss Fifi and Miss Trixibelle from downstairs, master calls them a pair of poodles but they are lovely dogs oh and their hair is fabulous! So I gotta go. I'll see you soon, maybe after the wedding I've got to bare a ring, I hope that's not as painful as it sounds, I'll let you know x

Laters x x


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